Unsent Letter To An Angel

Dear Ishita,

Again everything are rewinding... It was unexpected, unwanted for me that you will call again... it was an abrupt thing for my phone also…Remained in a dilemma, to use the green button or red button for some time.. But without touching the scratched screen of the phone u r number vanished from the screen, showing as a missed call. I knew you well. Nobody can stop u calling may be 100 times until I respond your call. Or as u used to say an unknown pain grips you until u listen my voice. Again your number flashed on the screen. This time involuntarily my hand pressed the green button…Mind and head gripped by your thoughts. It was becoming difficult for me to ignore your thoughts… how can I ignore you.. How can anyone ignore a beautiful girl like you? Everything of you is addicting... don’t know how I stayed away from you for long seven months after you broke up with me…acted as a happy guy, but there was not a single day after you left me alone I didn’t thought about you… there might be just few nights I would have slept without any dream of you…  I know it’s not fault of ours…  May be we were not destined   for each other. As you used to say god wants it… You know I So many times after destiny made me lonely, I went to temple and wanted to ask your god what more he wants from me. Not a single day I could see any existence of him. May be its your way of breaking a relationship and putting the blame over almighty... the last day we met with each other.. I didn’t have any damn idea that this would be our last meet… Last romantic ride… last hug and kiss in the rain. We don’t know when we will die… when god will take that soul and breathe from us...  I didn’t know it was our last day we could meet each other. The day when u deserted me, I felt like dying partially. My words, thoughts everything seemed dying from that day...  Just after I put my phone on the ear, before I speak anything you asked “are you alright?”… The freezing cold was making my body seized, just wanted to hug you tightly, and wanted to capture your voice till my death.  It seemed more addicting, the anger inside escaped unknowingly…All those angers I had for you, for deluding those promises we made, spending sleepless nights were going away with the chilling winter wind.... With those heavy thoughts inside my heart , it seemed I became numb  for some time.. Again you asked if I am good. Before I speak something you went with the flow of your voice... I asked “why are you calling after a long days”. You replied I was in your dream last night, and was unwell. So many things were running inside my head…” was it for the first time after these long days you let my thoughts to entering your dreams”??? May be another mitigation for listening my voice… you know when god has failed in understanding women how can a half-baked guy like me understand what’s inside your heart.

Unfaithfully yours

An Idiot